I am flying up to the Bay for a wonderful weekend trip with my friend Julia…be back Sunday 
Today we had a patient who was either 17 or 18 years old in our office, who needed some dental work completed. As we waited for him to get numb, the dentist was talking to him about how she didn’t understand how kids to put so much time and energy into their Myspace and Facebook accounts. My boss looks at me and says, “Emily, do you spend lots of time on your Myspace?”. Our patient turns his head to me, looks at me and asks with a tone of but-you-are-so-old to his voice, “You have a Myspace account?”.
I couldn’t believe it. This little punk thinks I am too old to be on Myspace and Facebook. I am in my mid-twenties! I guess it is all downhill from here.
Yesterday (Wednesday) I had a long and draining day at work. The kind of day where you just want to go out with a friend and have a drink. So, I texted the guy from my golf class, who I will refer to as TJ for now. We had talked about going out on Thursday, but I just couldn’t wait. My mind had been whirling with excitement for the past couple of days and I wanted to see if there was a connection other than golf between us.
We headed down to Dana Point Wharf for dinner and drinks and it seemed that the connection between us was there. We talked more in depth about who we were and our lives. It was great to talk with him about everything. “But does he like me” was the question that kept popping in my mind. As we were leaving the bar, I courageously slipped my hand into his and he finally leaned in for the kiss. Wonderful, just simply wonderful. I think my heart expanded 3x its normal size. It turns out that he made sure that his practice mat to be next to mine in our golf class, which I think is very cute, and that he had been lots of thought into our dates. Also, it seems that both of us have been thinking the same thoughts about each other and we both didn’t want to make the first move, to err on the side of caution. Now that we both know each other’s feelings, I am looking forward to getting to know him more. Next date: this Saturday…
I didn’t want to jinx it, but today I went on my first “date” in 4 years. We met at golf class and after talking a couple of times, we went out today to the driving range to practice and get to know each other better. He is really a nice and a down-to- earth guy. We talked and laughed the entire time, so I would say that we hit it off. But who I am to say because I feel that I forgot how to date. And for the record, I never went on a date with the German, so maybe I don’t even know how to date in the first place. Dating to me always seemed like an awkward personal interview: dressing nice, being on one’s best behavior and talking about one’s personal CV. But even so, I survived the “interview” and I am happy that we just had a great day and maybe even though we are taking it slow at a normal pace, we will see what comes to be.
Probably the best thing about the Golfguy is he is completely different than the German. Completely and that I not only need but love.
the good tax news: My accountant for my father’s estate completed all (from 2002-2007) of my father’s tax returns. It turned out to be a huge complicated mess (including deductions, etc.), but it is done and after I sign the checks and mail the returns, I will be one step closer to closing his estate. Yes, yes, yes! I am approaching the one year anniversary when I started to figure how to handle an estate and I guess I would say that I have learned a great deal even though when I tackle one obstacle, I am immediately blinded by another.
the bad tax news: If the IRS would write me a letter with my tax return attached to it, it would probably look like this:
Emily,
Welcome to adulthood. Please swallow this bitter pill of life as you prepare to write a check out to us for a $1,000 dollars. You have until April 15th.
love,
the IRS
Apparently my federal and state taxes were not withheld from my paychecks for all of 2007, which means that I owe it all at once, which is basically now. It kind of feels as if the government is ripping a big band-aid off my bank account. wince. I don’t know how I missed this. I always looked at my paystubs and I saw money being taken out and assumed that was correct. Well, it turns out only my medicare, disability and social security were taken out and that there is no mistake with my return (as I originally thought). Big bummer. At least I had enough money set aside for unforeseen events AND that $600 government stimulus check will help, but I still in shock.
Welcome to adulthood — what is next?
We went to local grocery store (Crown Valley Marketplace) after hearing rave reviews about its various produce. What an amazing store! They offered mostly Middle-Eastern groceries, but there was some Asian, Mexican, and even German groceries sprinkled throughout. I always love to explore unique grocery stores, but I was especially thrilled to find this gem within Orange County. Frankly I could live without going to one of the chain grocery stores. I found three things that I thought I couldn’t have until my trip to Germany this summer: Banana nectar and Cherry Juice, Kinder chocolate and Happy Hippos. The Kinder stand was authentic too — the writing was all in German. With the banana nectar, I made my first KiBa juice (Kirsche/Banane) since I have been back in the US. The juice package was funny packaging though — county of origin: Turkey, but the first language listing the contents was in German. But still, it was delicious. 
LB tries out her bunny ears…
Sorry, I know this post is beyond late. Let me explain. About four weeks ago, after my interview, I called the German (I know, I know, stupid move Emily) to tell him about my interview. He picked up and just by his cold tone, I was reminded that we were finished and I needed to move forward. I wish I could say that I listened to my own advice. I had been so strong since the breakup: I was losing weight, continued to be active with golf lessons and yoga classes, went on weekend trips to visit friends and was doing great at work. Everything was going full speed ahead.
And then I hit my emotional wall.
Splat.
I crumpled. I felt hollow, drained, bummed and embarrassed. I didn’t even know who I was anymore — my identity was entwined with the German and our plans in Hamburg. March was suppose to be the month I went back over there. I can’t even explain all my thoughts. I went to work with a pollyanna attitude although my mind was filled with this incessant chatter that never gave me a moment of peace. I am ashamed to admit that I didn’t want to talk to anyone, even my closest friends who have been by my side these past four months, let alone blog. Sorry everyone. And do you know what is even the worst part? The entire three weeks I wanted to do was to talk to my ex. Even after everything that he selfishly did for himself for the past five months, I still wanted to know how he was.
Sickening, almost nauseating, right?
Thankfully, one of my friends called me and our conversation shook me back to reality. I am getting back onto my feet and trying to keep breathing. I didn’t want to write a sob story or have you guys pity me, but I just thought I would explain my month-long absence. I might not be as cheery as I was in January, but I am still here.
P.S. I will be back to comments/emails/facebook messages that you all have left me. I neglected getting back to everyone during my pity party absence.
Yesterday I woke up with a brownie craving, so I scrambled out of bed to head to the local bakery, where their brownies melt in your mouth, but they only bake a few batches, so you have to go early. They had two brownies left (yes!) and I also ordered a macchiato. Here was the funny conversation that followed:
Me: Two brownies and a macciato, please.
Cashier: You know that macchiato is espresso with a bit of foam.
Me: Yes, I know.
Cashier: It’s just that women never order macchiatos. Are you sure you want a macchiato?
Me (a bit dumbfounded): Umm, yes, I still want a macchiato please.
Cashier: (sighing) All right.
Weird, right? But I walked happy with a brownie in one hand and my “manly” macchiato in the other.
Last week I went into the Starbucks close to my work, so that I could get through the day. I was waiting for my coffee when this woman ran up to the counter screaming, “I said ‘Diet’ and I know this is not a Diet”. The barista and I stared at this woman who was holding this (apparently non-diet) cup of coffee up in the air, screaming bloodly murder but what I noticed was she had all this grey stuff on her face.
The barista quietly made another low-fat coffee and as she placed the new coffee on the counter, she said, “Happy Ash Wednesday”. Pretty unbelievable.
Thanks for crossing your fingers and/or pressing your thumbs — my interview went really well.
I arrived at the dental school bright and early on Friday and I was excited to get started. All the prospective students were nice and just as excited as I was to be there. When they handed out name tags, I thought for one second, there would not be a name tag for me. Maybe there was a mistake. But I heard my name and I saw that I was meant to be there at the interview. I could finally say that my application was good enough to be given an interview invite. The best news is that they have only offered 25% of their 144 seats, so there are lots of seats still open. Hopefully I will hear something positive soon
